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Book Notes: Never Split The Difference

Table of Contents

Never Split The Difference

Never Split the Difference, written by former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss, teaches you how to negotiate effectively in any situation. Here’s a summary of the book’s key lessons:

Mastering Empathy

The book emphasizes the importance of active listening and using verbal techniques like mirroring and labeling emotions to build rapport and understanding with the other negotiator.

Labeling Emotions

By acknowledging the other party’s feelings, you can build trust and de-escalate tension.

Mirroring

Repeating back key words or phrases shows that you’re paying attention and can help guide the conversation.

Calibrated Questions

Don’t just ask yes or no questions. Use open ended questions to gather information and steer the other party towards revealing their true needs.

The Power of Silence

Don’t be afraid of silence. Let the other person fill the void and give away information by talking.

Never Split the Difference

This tactic avoids saying yes or no to an offer. Instead, acknowledge the offer and ask for clarification or a better proposal.

Using Silence and Labels to Get “Yes” Answers

By strategically using silence and labels, you can encourage the other party to elaborate and eventually agree to your terms.

Odd numbers

  • Rounded numbers (e.g., $40,000) feel arbitrary and easily countered.
  • Odd, specific numbers (e.g., $37,621) seem more calculated and thought-out.
  • Psychologically, the odd number feels like it was arrived at through careful analysis, making it a less movable target for the other negotiator. It anchors the negotiation at a specific point that you’ve established through deliberate consideration.
  • So, next time you’re negotiating a salary, a price, or any other quantifiable term, consider using an odd number to strengthen your position.

Never Split the Difference

Title: Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Author: Chris Voss with Tahl Raz ISBN10: 0062407805 ISBN13: 9780062407802